Thoughts on this poem, please?

Too many repetitive conjunctions like 'but'. Also second line 'their' is wrong usage for that. Their means you are talking about people. You need 'there' in that spot. In line 5, it is incorrect usage to compare a place with a thing. You can have a person as beautiful as a swan but not a place. That is improper. In the 6th line I think you may also have the word 'Were' (which also should not be capilized there) spelled wrong. I'm guessing you want the word 'where' instead. All of the middle starts of each line like the words 'Just, For, Happiness' need to be lower case or you need to put them on the next line and start them there like poetry does instead of capitalizing them mid sentence. The theme is nice and the portrayal is good too but you need to correct the above things.